Weight Loss Help

Deadly Compliments by Mary Ann Senatore

Hello all,

Its Mary Ann, your weight-loss partner. How are you doing?

How do feel when you lose weight? How do you feel when your clothes fit better? Have you noticed different interactions between yourself and coworkers now that you’re a smaller size? Are you aware of a member of the opposite sex checking you out?

Think about it, how does this make you feel? At first, it is a confidence builder isn’t it? At first it makes you feel good to be noticed and to have your accomplishments recognized. After a while, are those compliments leading to a demise or downfall?

We all want to be successful, and recognized success is always welcome. However, how we handle success is up to us and since we have come so far, we do not want compliments and recognition to be a brick wall.

Since we feel good to be noticed, does it get to the point where we become over confident? Do you attend a weekly meeting or weigh in and since you have been receiving compliments you feel as if you can miss a meeting? After all, you are getting noticed and you have everything under control, don’t you?

Well if we were in control would we need to lose weight? If we were in control, would you be reading this column? If we were in control would we have lost and gained the same 15 pounds over and over again?

Any situation in which we must demonstrate control has numerous dimensions. The statement, “Never let them see you sweat,” isn’t only for exercising. Remaining calm, not frazzled, confident and poised requires the ability to not let your head get clouded. So my question is, are compliments and success recognition when you lose weight clouding your ability to reach a goal?

You are feeling good, your confidence level is up a notch, and you just bought a smaller size. However you still have 30 pounds left to go. When you bought that new outfit, did you receive many compliments? Sure you did, but the ability to accept those compliments with a smile and a thank you and not let them go to your head is not easy. We like the compliments, we like that feeling of smaller, and we like recognition.

Do we tell our coworkers, spouse and friends not to say anything? If we tell them not to say anything do we wonder why they haven’t noticed? If we ask for an opinion and they give a positive one, are we setting ourselves up for victory or defeat?

These questions and many more have baffeled individuals while losing weight ever since the first pound became a problem for Adam and Eve. Is there a solution to receiving compliments and recognition and not letting the praise become deadly? I wish there was.

One way to look at compliments or recognition especially is with a little conceit. That’s right, conceit. Think to yourself, if you’re getting compliments and recognition and you are not at your ideal weight yet, imagine the compliments in the future will be like. You worked hard for this recognition, so let it be incentive to move forward.

When someone you haven’t seen for a while is just amazed at how much weight you have lost, let them be amazed. If they ask how you are doing it, tell them as much or as little as you want them to know. The more you tell them, the more questions you will be asked. Remember you are in control.

When you are out to dinner, make your menu choice be known first. We have all been out to dinner and have been told that we could splurge just this once. Or of course we look good, so what will a piece of cheesecake hurt? If we state our menu choice first, it shows assurance and confidence and it may even have a positive influencing affect on our dining companions to make a healthier choice.

No matter what, remember that we always have control of our destiny and the we are the success or failure of whatever weight loss method we choose. The program or plan does work, but it is up to us to make it work. Compliments and recognition will come, and handling them is another step along the weight loss journey.

Until next month, remember, you are never alone. I am always your weight loss friend.

Thank you,

Mary Ann

Hello all, Happy 4th to everyone!

Before we talk about the holiday and how we are absolutely in control of our success for the day, I just wanted to let everyone know that I recently went on a two day cruise. I was very successful in keeping my food under control and at my usual weekend weigh in, I gained .2 of a pound.

Two tenths of a pound and I even treated myself to a dessert! However, I would not be doing justice to my readers if I didn’t tell you about the cruise. It leaves out of the Port of Palm Beach and it calls itself a celebration. It was anything but a celebration. Friends, if you want to blow your weight loss success for two days, you can find a much better way to do so. The customer service was lacking, the food with the exception of the dining on the second night was not what you would expect from a cruise line and the entire two days were nothing but disorganization and disappointment.

Save your money and buy yourself a cute little dress, or new golf clubs, but don’t waste your time on this ship, its not worth it!

As for the 4th, we all love Bar-B-Que! Here are some tips that will help you stay focused and successful.

Fruit is a wonderful partner to any dish. Fruit salads are not only colorful but very easy to make and if you are invited to someone’s home, I am sure the hostess will be delighted if you offered to make a festive fruit salad.

Salads have come a long way, and this time of year there are certainly many fresh vegetables to choose from to make our salads colorful and filling.

Bread is not the enemy. There are many delicious low calorie, high fiber, good tasting breads to choose from and since most buns have a top and bottom, why not split the bun, and have that 2nd hot dog, or hamburger. One bun, twice the protein! After all, an open face sandwich is a great way to show off your creativity when it come to your weight loss journey.

Keeping cool with plenty of water is easy, especailly with the help of light lemonades or Crystal Light. If you haven’t tried Crystal Light, now is your time to enjoy a new flavor. There are many light and low calorie ice teas that will compliment your out door fun.

We can create many new dressing recipies with low fat or fat free mayo, yogurt or sour cream. If you haven’t tried greek yougurt in your recipies, this may be the time to try because greek yogurt is full of protein.

Who doesn’t love the way meats taste on the grill! Well the newer and leaner cuts of meat are just the answer. We can marinade, rub, and season with many low calorie and tasty dressings and rubs. Turkey or chicken sausage has come a long way as far as flavor. Cooking on the grill ads flavor and your guests will love the lighter tastes.

Desserts can be festive and low calorie with low fat or fat free Cool Whip. We can make individual strawberry shortcakes with premade cake shells. The strawberries can be cleaned and cut ahead of time and kept in the fridge with just a little water and a packet or two of your favorite sugar substitute and you can create a festive and delicious dessert. Spoon the strawberries onto the cake/dessert shells, top with fat free Cool Whip and your guests will love their own individual dessert!

And of course, don’t forget the Jello desserts. Mix in some fruit, or fat free cool whip to your favorite sugar free jello flavor and the desserts are colorful, flavorful and just the right end to a day of food and fun.

Happy Holiday to all and as always, remember you are never alone in your weight loss journey.

I’m always here!

Mary Ann

MY SPOUSE DOESN’T WANT ME TO LOSE WEIGHT!

By Mary Ann Senatore-your friend in weight loss

Hello all,

Have you known people that use their spouse as the reason not to lose weight? I would like to tell you about a friend of mine named Lucy. She is one of those women who everyone says has a gorgeous face. Lucy is very overweight, and has started a new diet every Monday for the past three years that I have known her. Some of the diets work, and when Lucy gets to the point where her weight loss is noticeable, something happens that sabotages her progress.

She says the same thing all the time, that her husband doesn’t want her to lose weight. Lucy’s house is immaculate, she has two young children under the age of seven, she is a stay at home mom, and ten years ago before she was married, Lucy was a size 10. Lucy didn’t get married overweight; she gained weight when she had children. Can we all relate!

When friends get together for a girl’s night out, Lucy often wonders why she doesn’t get invited any more. Lucy will go to lunch with friends and there are always one or both children in tow, and very often during lunch her cell phone will ring with her husband asking how much longer she will be.

Lucy has been asked to be a bridesmaid in her sister-in-law’s wedding (sister of husband) and the wedding is 14 months away. Lucy is happy to be a bridesmaid but is very depressed about dress shopping.

I met Lucy at Weight Watchers. Lucy and I bonded over a lollipop which was dropped on my foot by her three year old. Lucy was embarrassed when the sticky, gooey, cherry lollipop attacked me, but the look of painful loss on her daughter’s face called for quick action. I removed the lollipop from my foot and turned to Lucy to ask if it would be ok to give the lollipop back to the child if I washed it off. Both Lucy and the child were delighted to see that there was life after the lollipop-foot interaction.

          I asked if it would be ok if the child came with me into the rest room once the meeting was over. The child smiled and we all sat quietly until the end of the meeting. The child (Jessica) watched the lollipop as I held it. I don’t think the secret service watches the president with such intensity.

Once the meeting was over, we all walked to the ladies room, and as I ran the warm and cold water over the lollipop under the watchful eyes of Jessica, Lucy and I became friends. The weeks went by and each week we looked forward to our meetings. We sat in the same place, we exchanged recipes, we cheered each other on with successes, and we comforted each other with setbacks. Each week Lucy was at the meeting with either one or both of her children, so I knew her husband didn’t work on the weekends. He would take their son (Tyler) with him for some male bonding, but in the six months that Lucy did attend the meetings, Jessica was always there.

Lucy and I lost our first twenty-five pounds two weeks apart. We made a date for lunch once we both lost twenty-five pounds. At lunch, Lucy’s cell phone rang twice and she didn’t answer, but when the phone rang a third time, she answered. The conversation was brief as I heard her say that we are just about to pay the check. Jessica wanted to go to the pet store as we had done in the past many times before. The pet store is two doors down from Weight Watchers, and since they do not have any pets, the pet store is a fun place for the children. I have two cats, and will usually buy a toy or something special for my cats when we go, so the pet store became a place for us to enjoy.

Once Lucy lost thirty-five pounds, she began to miss meetings and finally she stopped coming all together. We stayed d in touch of course, and Lucy never stopped being supportive of my success. I would very often go grocery shopping after the meeting and Lucy would meet me at the supermarket and we would shop together, always with a child present.

Once I lost fifty pounds, Lucy was thrilled for me. We met for lunch at McDonalds because it was a kid friendly place. My daughter is grown, and Lucy and I are twenty years apart in age, but we have many things, including weight loss in common, being raised in Italian good filled families.

At lunch, Lucy said that she had to stop coming to the meetings due to the cost. Sadly, Lucy gained all her weight back. She seemed distant and we talked about silly things, but I knew something was bothering her.

Finally I asked what was wrong. It was then that Lucy revealed that her husband doesn’t want her to lose weight. He told her that she didn’t need to lose weight because he loved her just the way she was. He told her that he didn’t want her to change. He said that her weight didn’t matter and the she didn’t need Weight Watchers.

Lucy began to cry, and she said that she was angry at herself because she gained all her weight back. She asked me what she should do. My answer a question. Lucy, what do you want to do? Lucy said she wanted to feel better. She wanted her clothes to fit. She wanted to stop being the fat mom at her children’s school. She wanted to buy pretty clothes, and she wanted to have sex again with her husband. Lucy revealed that she and her husband had not been intimate in over two years.

All of this was familiar to me and I felt as if Lucy was talking about my life as well. I told Lucy I understood, and I couldn’t tell her what to do, but as her friend, I would support whatever decision she made.

I reassured Lucy that her body was her own, and as women we sometimes put ourselves second and everyone else first. As wives and mothers, sometimes we have to give ourselves permission to be a little selfish when it comes to our own health, and well being. It is only when we can give ourselves permission to be a selfish and put ourselves first sometimes that we can begin to do things for ourselves that we want and need to do.

To date, Lucy took charge of her life and has agreed to be a bridesmaid in the wedding in July 2010. Lucy and her husband had a long talk.

Lucy told her husband that the only way she would be a bridesmaid is if she lost weight and that she was going back on Weight Watchers, but to save the cost she would do it online. She told him that she loved him for saying that she didn’t need to lose weight but she didn’t want to walk down the aisle as a fat woman. She said the last time she walked down the aisle was when they were married and she was a size 10 then. She wants him to be proud of her as they walk down the aisle together again. Lucy also told her husband that she missed him in bed.

 Lucy’ husband (Keith) said that he never knew how she felt. He said that he thought he was doing a good thing by telling her that she didn’t need to lose weight because he didn’t want her to think that her weight mattered. So far Lucy has lost her first ten pounds and is flattered that I asked her if should mind if I wrote my May article about her because her story is no uncommon.

It is easy to find excuses not to lose weight. It takes courage, strength and determination to take control of our own lives especially when it seems like control is almost impossible. I hope you will support Lucy as your have supported me and one another on our weight loss journey.

Lucy, we’re here for you!

Mirror  Mirror on the Wall

by Mary Ann Senatore, your weight loss friend

Self image is a strong motivator or it can be a deadly weapon. If you started your weight loss journey at 220 pounds and successfully lost 30 pounds, when you look in the mirror at 190 pounds you are probably feeling good about yourself. Your clothes may fit differently, your face could have new definition, and you are probably in a smaller size. Although you may not be at your goal weight, you feel good about yourself, and 190 pounds is not such a bad number, is it?

Since you feel good about yourself, you are portraying a positive image with motivation to continue on your weight loss journey. Next, your journey takes you to 185 pounds and that person looking back at you in the mirror is smiling, and feeling good, and compliments are starting to happen.

Let’s face it, the first time a friend, family member or coworker notices that you have lost weight is an unsolicited motivator and certainly an ego boost. Your journey continues as we all enjoy compliments and you achieve a weight loss of 40 pounds.

Look at all of the things that have contributed to your success. You have a new relationship with food, your clothes fit better, you are in a smaller size, and you are enjoying positive and inspiring comments. What was once an enemy has become a friend, and that is your mirror. Since you like what you see, you are encouraged to continue. There is a new person looking back at you and you are liking this person. Positive self image coming from within is creating an external positive force field.

Life being what it is, throws you a curve. A health issue comes up, or it’s the holiday season, or perhaps bad weather keeps you from enjoying your outside activities. Maybe out of town guests arrive and you feel like you have no control over your food. All of these things can affect weight loss. Women are affected especially by hormones or too much rain in any given week. There will always be weight loss challenges, and with those challenges can be setbacks.

Remember how your felt that day when looked in mirror and you smiled at the person weighing 190 pounds? This number on the scale seemed like a good number at the time; putting in motion a chain of positive events.

Whatever the factors were that occurred at 180 pounds, you gained some weight back, and finally you got on the scale and there was that number again, 190 pounds. This are you are angry at 190? Do you feel like you lost control, or are disappointed? Are you feeling like you let yourself down, and now you have to give back those compliments or perhaps aren’t even worthy of them?

 What happens next unfortunately can be negativity setting in. How can our feelings change simply by seeing a number on the scale? This is when the weight loss journey is the most challenging.

A good suggestion to get past these feelings is to just pick yourself up and get back in the race. For those of you old enough to remember Frank Sinatra, that’s life. If weight loss was a perfect science there wouldn’t be a need for dieting.

The mirror can be a friend, but when it can seem like an enemy, avoid it. Remove as much negativity as possible and move forward. Remember that good feeling when you saw 190 on the scale the first time? Savor that feeling, and use that as the stepping stone for positivity. There will always be weight loss setbacks, but before a 5 or 10 pound gain becomes a complete gain, take time regroup and move forward. You will be glad you did.

            Forgive yourself. You can’t waste time beating yourself up over it. Just start over with the attitude of succeeding. Be kind to yourself, otherwise you may just give up completely and give in to your unhealthy way of living. Remember that each new day is a new beginning.

By Mary Ann Senatore-Your Friend with You on Your Weightloss Journey

Recently, I was waiting for a friend of mine to meet me. I had arrived a few minutes early. A very nice looking gentleman walked over to where I was and was on his cell phone talking with the use of a Bluetooth. At first he looked like we all do when we use them, as if he was talking to himself and soon I realized he was telling his friend whom he was meeting that he had arrived at TGI Friday’s.

A young girl walked toward the entrance. This young girl was in her twenties, wearing shorts that were very tight, and her appearance was sloppy. This young woman was overweight, thighs rubbing, stomach rolls showing, and her butt crack was showing.

Friend, I will be honest, I felt sorry for this young lady, but what happened next shocked me. The gentleman was clearly having a business conversation. He stopped his business conversation and said that he “Has just seen the reason why fat people should be shot.”  He went on to describe the young lady that had just walked by and added the comment that “she had enough blubber on her that a whale would be jealous.”

By his appearance and from the conversation that I could hear, my first impression was that this was an educated business man. Once he interrupted his business conversation to make this terrible comment, that impression quickly changed to one of jerk, pinhead, and even mean.

He knew nothing about this young lady, but was quick to make hurtful, mean, and insensitive comments. I know there are those that might say that she “deserved” it because she dressed that way. What pressure is there on young people to dress like everyone else?

Young people are all about fitting in. The fact that she would wear a pair of shorts like that indicates that she either doesn’t care about her appearance, or that she simply wants to fit in. Either way, did she deserve those comments?  For him, once he made the blubber comment, I turned me head in his direction and just gave him a rather disapproving look. He quickly changed his conversation back to one of business.

My friend called to give me an update on her location and the person he was meeting showed up. The irony was that the young lady in the shorts was actually a TGI Friday’s waitress. Clearly she changed for work when she arrived and she was wearing the “standard” Friday’s attire. She looked like every other Friday’s staff members and her service was excellent. She just happened to be the waitress that my friend and I had. Her smile was friendly,  her attitude was inviting, and her meal suggestion was an excellent choice.

Friends, what do you think? Were his comments cruel and out of line? What would you have done under the same circumstances? I must admit that I do have the nagging feeling that I cannot let go of that I should have said something to him.

On the other hand, this young lady, although an excellent waitress was overweight. She did comment about going to school. She actually is interested in a CSI career and has another year of school left, so there’s ambition, purpose and direction in her goal. Working in Friday’s must be very tempting as far as the food is concerned, and with the schedule demands of work and school, I can relate to dieting not being easy.

The path to weight loss is not an easy one. It takes determination and focus. Right now, for this young lady, to take on losing weight and school, while working is a tremendous task. Am I making excuses for her? Not at all!

I agree, it isn’t easy. I wondered how she would have felt if she knew of the comments that were made about her just before she got to work.

Friends, we can all make a list of reasons why weight loss is difficult or why we cannot do it right now, but the longer we put it off, the harder it becomes. Remember each journey begins with a first step. Let me take the journey with you.

In March, we are going to talk about how we can turn our favorite foods in healthy and low fat recipes.

See you soon,

Mary Ann

Today is the Day

By Mary Ann Senatore (your weight loss friend)

It is here, the New Year.  Have you made a weight loss resolution? The holidays are over, we are recovering from ham, turkey, and cheesecake, and now we want to lose weight. There are so many advertisements for programs, equipment, and quick fix solutions to fat busting, how can we possibly make a choice.

What are you looking for? A quick fix or a lifestyle change? Do you want to lose 5 pounds or 100 pounds? Once you reach your goal, can you live with your choice and maintain your weight? Is your choice a healthy one? Are you considering surgery? Do you hate to exercise?

If you are feeling overwhelmed, you are not alone. I am five pounds away from my goal weight and the journey has been a long one with some weight gains along the way. Did my “diet” fail when I gained weight? No, it didn’t, what failed was my attitude toward change. As I confessed when I took a trip to Vegas in 2009, I came home with great memories, one hundred dollars left of my gambling money, and six pounds. Did I think I could eat at the buffet including dessert for five days and not gain weight? I would be silly if I did!

The fear of gain back can be defeating. Whatever weight loss plan you choose, if there is one thing to keep in mind, it is the question-Can I live with this plan?

Can you stay on a plan that includes prepackaged foods for the rest of your life? I suppose anything is possible, but I am not sure if it would be practical or healthy. Can you go from your current eating habits to a cookie diet and expect a positive outcome that will be with you in twenty years? As much as you might love cookes, I doubt it. If you are like me and grew up in an Italian home, can you really give up carbs forever? Eliminating carbs for a short while might work, but I know for myself, life without baked ziti is impossible.

Every weight loss plan has a success rate, but if there is one thing I would encourage you to research, it is the plan to maintain. After working this hard to lose 85 pounds, I never want to gain weight back. Weight gain has a nasty way of creeping up on us and two pounds today quickly turns to 20 pounds before we know it.

I know when you are choosing your plan for success the idea of maintaining is far away from goal. The first focus is results, but what good are those results if we cannot maintain them?

I believe in a plan with healthy choices, and behavior modifications. Our unhealthy eating habits is what got us here in the first place, so if we do not change those habits, the weight will come back. Of course whatever plan you choose, the one person you should seek advice from is your doctor.

A good start to losing weight is getting baseline labwork and a complete physical. Weight loss is more than a number on a scale, Knowing such things as our cholesterol, blood sugar, and BMI (body mass index) are a baseline for progress.

Once you have chosen a plan, setting a goal will keep our focus. Do you have a wedding, vacation, or reunion coming up? Do you have more than twenty pounds to lose and your goal is overwhelming to think about? If we think about the long term number on the scale, we will probably make ourselves crazy. Set small goals and be realistic. Five pounds is probably a good goal to think about, even if you need to lose one hundred pounds.  Like any journey, the trip has a beginning.

If you have ever driven from New York to Florida, you probably have stopped overnight in South Carolina. The drive is long, stops need to be made for gas, food, and of course restroom. All of those stops are goals that are planned into the trip. Our car needs gas, our bodies need food and of course our bladder needs emptying.

As we set our food and fuel goals for the trip, we can set our weight loss goals. Five pounds turns to ten, ten turns to fifteen and eventually the pants that were tight become loose, all by setting small goals.

One last thing to keep in mind. We all know our bodies, we see ourselves every day. We will be the first one to notice our loss. Clothes will begin to fit better, activities will become easier, and our strength will increase, but recognition is a wonderful encouragement. As you progress on your journey, keep one thing in mind. Our family, friends, and coworkers see us every day. We know the number of pounds we have lost, but a good rule of thumb is half our weight loss is usually the start of recognition. If you have sixty pounds to lose, at about the thirty pound goal, you will probably start to hear that ever encouraging quesiton-Have you lost weight? There it is! The recogntion that something is different about you. The question might come as, Have you changed your hair? or Is that a new sweater? The people that see us every day know there is something different about us but they can’t put thier finger on it. We know what is new about us, and the day of recognition is a wonderful milestone in our journey.

I wish you all a healthy, happy and safe new year. I look forward to continuing on this journey with you as I approach my goal weight. I will leave you with one final thought as we hear the chocolate chip cookies calling our name- Nothing tastes as good as thin and healthy feels!

Weight Loss ABC’s

by Mary Ann Senatore (your weight loss friend)

Hello all,

I am nearly at goal weight. I have about 8 pounds left and today is Halloween. What happens on Halloween? We get haunted by the candy goblins. Some people are not even frightened by the goblins, but others are terrified and I admit to having the candy fear.

What is the best thing to do when we need to face a fear? Be like NIKE, and just do it. How? Weight simple basics. Before we learn to read, we must learn the alphabet. Why not apply the ABC’s to keeping us focused during the holiday season. We all know it starts with Halloween and ends on New Years Day.

A-always stay focused (not always easy, but it can be done-and you are not alone)

B-be in control (once we take control, we can achieve anything)

C-consider alternatives (instead of chips, reach for pretzels)

D-decide in advance (we are more likely to stay on target if we plan our meals in advance)

E-eat small meals throught out the day (not allowing oursleves to get hungry)

F-find a friend (support is important)

G-go for a walk (exercise is important for all of us-start slow-but stay focused)

H-have a plan (if necessary, make an appointment with yourself, just like the doctor, dentist or salon)

I-include family members (once they know what you are doing, they can help)

J-just do it (JDI) what are you waiting for?

K-keep a diary (write down your meals, feelings, successful and not so successful days)

L-look for new foods (just because we are losing weight, our foods don’t have to be boring)

M-make meals special (use the good dishes, treat yourself like a guest)

N-no punishments (if you gain weight, its done and move on, tomorrow is just a sleep away)

O-oh how good it feels! (when we put on a smaller size and it fits)

P-put “trigger” foods out of reach (out of sight out of mind)

Q-quick fixes are not reality (fad diets don’t work)

R-reward yourself when you attain a goal (buy a new lipstick or video game just for yourself)

S-sugar substitutes can have flavor (flavored sweetner to give coffee a new pizzazz)

T-take time for yourself (we all take care of everyone, but leave little time for ourselves)

U-undo bad habits (easier said than done, but so worth it as we step toward success)

V-variety will keep you focused (being bored with food leads to failure)

W-want it (we will never achieve a goal unless we want it to happen)

X-eXamine the reasons why we eat (stress, hunger, boredom to name a few)

Y-You (losing weight for anyone buy yourself is just silly-do it for yourself)

Z-ZA! ZA! ZOO! (there is no better feeling than knowing you have succeeded)

Go through those candy bags, allow 5 pieces of candy and give the rest away. The office candy jar is a good place provided the candy jar is not on your desk. Rent a scary movie and make popcorn instead!

Happy Halloween and I look forward to hearing your success tips for holiday success.

Your Friend,

Mary Ann

MORE OF ME TO LOVE?

     by Mary Ann Senatore (your weight loss friend)

Hello all,

     Last month I admitted to gaining some weight back and this month I am once again on the road to success. I have lost (relost) 5 pounds. I have 6 more to lose and the total gain will be gone. Thank you all for your support. The relose is always slower the second time around, isn’t it?

     This month, I would like to ask all readers these questions. Can we ever look at larger women as just women? Why do we need to label a woman by size? Does the possibility exist that we love someone more by the pound? Is overweight a sign of poor decision making abilities?

     While watching TV the other night, I could not believe the preview for a new TV show. The premise is plus size women competing for the affections of one man.

     I started to think about what more of me to love meant and I pondered the idea that if a woman weighs 100lbs, the love she is given is 100 proof, however if a woman weighs 200lbs then the love she is given is 200 proof. If this is the case then why do we strive to lose weight when the stronger proof is clearly the more potent and the more desired, isn’t it?

     Thinking a bit more I also wondered why women who are more than what the “average” weight should be are described as plus, or large, or their sizes are described as extended. Why do we feel the need to label someone who is “above average” in such a derogatory way? Isn’t above average looked upon as a good thing?

     We look at a woman’s eye color, hair color, height, shoe size, ring size and smiles and recognize the differences but when it comes to size we use labels such as petit, average and plus. Based on the more of me to love premise, the plus size women are loved more. I wonder how the petit and average size women are feeling right now. Has anyone ever said to a size 4 woman that she would be given more love if she was a size 24? I don’t think so!

     If we are equating weight to the amount of affection we can be given then what is next? All women with size 9 or above feet will be charged an extra fee for a pedicure? All women with a ring size of 8 or more will have to pay for 2 rings when they only want to buy 1?

     Clearly a woman’s weight and the affection she is given do not have a connection but we continue to label and define a woman by her size. Plus size women find it difficult to be taken serious, as if the ability to control one’s weight reflects the ability to make intelligent decisions. I realize the choice between ice cream and celery is a difficult one, but if ice cream is chosen does this mean a woman will make a poor business decision? Does this mean that only women who eat celery can make good business decisions? Once again, I think we realize a good business mind does not stem from ice cream or celery choices. So why is weight an obstacle to recognizing the valuable contribution a woman can make?

     Overweight women face these feelings and many more every day. The desire to lose weight is as individual as finger prints or eye color. The desire may be there, but perception, image, and feelings are also part of weight loss success.

     I would like to leave you with this thought: The next time you see an overweight person; can you just see a person? Can you look past the weight? Can you just notice that there is a person in line or on the elevator and not see size?

As always, your friend in the weight loss journey,

Mary Ann

Does Food Control Our Emotions or Do Our Emotions Control Our Food?

By Mary Ann Senatore (Your weight loss/gain friend)

Hello all!

     I must admit to being human. I hurt my back and it was necessary to have a course of epidural steroid injections. If you have ever had steroids you will know that your appetite does increase and you probably took on a very round face look.

     I have gained over the course of two months, about 6 pounds. I am eating all the right foods, and if you are familiar with Weight Watchers, you know that there are 35 flex points available every week. I will tell you all that I flexed each week during the six weeks of injections.

     The first week that I got on the scale and realized a gain, I could easily justify the gain because of not only the steroids, but a serious lack of exercise. I walk at least 5 days a week and with the pain in my back and legs walking was difficult and there were even weeks that I didn’t move at all. Adding the additional food points contributed to my weight gain.

     I made good choices with my food selections; however I was eating more than I was exercising. After the second injection and another gain on the scale, justification was diminishing and pity was taking over. Of course I did not gain back all 65lbs, but the feeling that I failed did take over. What did I fail at? I was in pain, could barely function, and felt like I was working overtime to control my appetite. All of this and then another gain at the scale was enough to make me want to run to the ice cream isle.

     But, here’s the question. If I had eaten my one weakness food (Ben and Jerry’s Phish Food), what would that have done? Would the ice cream and delicious chocolate shaped fish make my back feel better? Would all of that fat and calories take the pain away and give me my ability to take my daily walks? No! Of course not, but I was down on myself.

     Regardless of what the reason for a weight gain, should we give ourselves license to a genuine pity party? I think we all know the answer to that is no, but where was the control?  Who or what was in control? Was I in control even though there were circumstances that I could not change? Or had I lost control because I was up against odds that were not in my favor?

     I was in control and as I have said many times, It is what it is! I could not change the pain in my back, or the increased appetite, or the lack of exercise, but I could control my food. Control is exactly what I did. Giving into a chocolate splurge would have been easy, and I have come too far for that. Looking back and now that the injections are over, and I can exercise again, I feel good about the outcome.

     Sure, I’m now doing weight loss the sequel for the 6 gained pounds and getting back to eating less food without the comfort zone of the flex points is getting easier, but how would I feel if I did eat ice cream for comfort? 

     So many things control our emotions, such the kind of day we have at work or home with children, getting good or bad news, watching the news and seeing coverage of either a tragic or happy event, or simply the feeling of defeat.  Sometimes we do not even have control of our emotions and we cannot explain why (and this is not just a female thing).  

     What can we control? Our food! We may want to cry or laugh in response to something, and we allow our bodies to experience that, but is the food actually calling us? Sometimes I can almost hear the ice cream isle say my name, but then I quickly make a shopping cart U-Turn and now I can hear the healthy snacks calling me. It is funny how the ice cream isle is so much more vocal and can be heard much louder than the isle where the healthy and organic snacks are.  It must the acoustics in the freezer!

     Are you in control? Yes you are, no matter what. Can you avoid giving in?  Yes you can. While we cannot stop ourselves from feeling the emotions we are feeling we can stop our indulgence with food. I’m human and going through the same ups and downs just like everyone else. I lose, and I gain and as Frank Sinatra sang, I just pick myself up and get back in the race.

     Tell me about your temptation and what you did to avoid it. I know our readers would benefit from the suggestions. Is temptation and giving into emotion part of life? Yes it always will be, but when we have strength and control, nothing can stop us!

Your friend always,

Mary Ann

It IS WHAT IT IS

By Mary Ann Senatore

Your Weight Losing Friend!

Hello All! Its me, Mary Ann and before I explain It is what it is, I just want to say that my trip to Vegas was absolutely fabulous. The hotel was wonderful, and Cher was spectacular!

It is what it is means that if something has happens that we cannot change, then it simply is what it is. What can be done about something that cannot be changed? Do we regret it? Do we dwell on it? Do we seek out alternative solutions? Do we simply accept it? Or, do we learn from it?

I am talking about not only weight loss this month, but something that happens to all of us, and that is weight gain. In my first article, I mentioned a new friend, the scale. Who is going to tell you honestly that you have gained weight? A true friend. The scale is our friend, and sometimes that friend tells us of a gain.

No one likes to see the scale go up, but horomones, medications, injury, lack of exercise, or simply an all out eating binge will eventually catch up to us and the scale will never lie to us. But, is a gain a reason to give up? Of course not! 

Recently, an article about a celebrity who gained weight was published and references such as fall of the wagon and failure were made. Fall off the wagon? This was one question I could not understand. Failure was also a concept that escaped me. Of course it is a set back when we gain, but once we see a 5, 7 or 10 pund gain, it is then that we need to regroup.

We all know that losing weight is not easy, so when something is so difficult, do we want to do it again? I will be honest, I did gain 6lbs when I returned from Vegas.  I was on vacation and I was there to enjoy myself, and the food expiernece was part of the trip. Do I eat like that “normally?” Of course not! When I returned home, I faced the scale, and pulled out my Weight Watchers week 1 book and rediscovered my excitment about the program.

I didn’t gain back all 63 pounds, I gained 6lbs. I knew why it happened, and expected to see a gain. I knew when I got back from the trip that I would have to really discipline myself, and I did.

Do I love chocolate as much as I always did? Of course I do, but now, I have learned how to make choices and be in control. The key words are choices and control. I was in control in Vegas, and I knew what to expect when I got home. I made choices at meal time so that I could enjoy desserts, but, as soon as the trip was over, so were the desserts.

Before the weight gain spins out of control, catch it, make smart choices. It is what it is because the weight gain has happened, but learn from it, know why you gained, and then as Frank Sinatra says, pick yourself up and get back in the race. That’s life! Your life! As each 5lb weight loss is a milestone, each 5lb weight gain is a small set back. We have the ability to make choices and take control before the small set back turns into a mountain we can’t climb.

As always I am in this with you,

Your Friend, Mary Ann